Stories Told by a Bear

Homeless

2008-12-23T10:30:00.004+11:00

Wolfninjakpjoker

Fellow Readers

I must take time to apologize for my disjointed blogging attempts. As a bear, i have certain needs - one such need is survival. Please, do not get me wrong, i am not one to fumble excuses out at any given point, but the reason i have not been blogging is that my forest has been demolished. You have read correctly...Demolished.

Cousin bear and Twin bear are now with me hitching a ride on (ironically) a now empty lumber truck. As the cool air rushes across my fur, tussling it like a well known American hero tussling a little freckly boy's hair, i think to myself...what next? Could this be the end of me and my family? Could this mean i would have to find my way to the nearest city and get a job working as a waiter in a local bistro?

Typing up my blog to pass the seemingly endless wait, i notice that the sun has just come out from behind a mountain. This serene act of nature, seems to lay a blanket of tranquility over me and my family as we ponder over our situation in silence. It seems illogical to be put at ease by this, but that is just what i felt. I was no longer troubled.

Could this be like the star which led the three kings to Jesus? Or the moon and sun that helped many civilizations flourish? As a bear, all i can simply say is "I don't know".

I apologize dearly for my lack of blogging and for the rather minimal blog today, but if i do not blog again, i wish you all a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

It may be true that Christianity is the "Religion of the West", however for anybody who celebrates another holiday in this season, or does not celebrate anything at all, my intent remains the same. May you have a safe, happy and relaxing festive season.

Hopefully, my family and I will reach a new home soon. Lets all keep our thoughts positive, because we never know what will happen.

I have drawn this sketch with twin bear as a way of remembering the place we once called home.

Goodbye and Farewell

Present.

2008-11-24T17:03:00.000+11:00

2008-11-24T16:13:00.001+11:00

Upon filing various complaints and organizing a protest regime against the dictatorship of the hated lion, i proved to be victorious.

As i am a bear, it is natural for

Porridge.

2008-11-23T21:29:00.000+11:00

Tis a quiet Sunday afternoon.

Gather around, my friends, as I conclude the tale of my missing porridge.

Life And Death

2008-11-21T18:10:00.002+11:00

wolfninjakpjoker

Hello readers

"Do life and death really matter in a world where you are just as easily replaced as an ant in an ant hill?"

Despite being quite concise, i pondered over this question for hours on end. Never had i been confronted by such a blatant self actualizing question. Although I as an intelligent bear never had the need to find a reason to live, i still find the idea of knowing my value in the world appealing. Thought provoked, i eventually came up with various logical answers.

One such answer depends on the reality of souls. Being a bear, religious teachings never really played a great part in my life. However, after learning about the various "tickets to heaven" such as Christianity, Judaism and Islam, I realized that the reality of a "soul" shaped the lives of countless individuals. This being the case, concepts of life and death are not really that important, as a guaranteed post-mortem eternal life serves as an ultimate reward. However, this theory is all based on man-made ideals and scriptures which have never been proven. This can lead skeptical minds to not believe and thus value their time on Earth indefinitely. Also this may add the ideal of "value" to an individual soul, as it may never be replaced. In this aspect, the implausibility of an individual may seem quite appealing and reassuring.

The Alternative answer however, lies upon the foundations of logic and reasoning. Setting aside all religious views the humans have come up with, the concepts of life and death suddenly become quite significant. Since there is no longer a life after death, the time a living being exists on Earth is limited. This means that the sudden urge to make "every second count" kicks in and the rationality of beings ceases to exist. Although this post-modern "atheistic" view is logical and rational, it may lead beings to live a life of unhappiness and constant inferiority complexes. Additionally, the lack of value to an individual animal may render life as pointless as when death occurs a replacement for the deceased is waiting around the corner.

Like the carcass of a freshly decapitated deer being shared among a pack of wolves, my opinions were divided. Although i pride myself over my logical and intellectual reasoning, i simply cannot believe in the strict atheistic view. However, being a bear, i am always seeking the answer to life's questions and thus, i will always be slightly compelled by the idea of "life after death". I do not entirely believe either theory, however, the mix of both keeps me sane and content.

Having annoyed my fellow "forest-mates" with ramblings on the importance of life, i am feeling rather proud of myself. I have reached the decision that the importance of life differs from one animal to the next, all dependent on personality. Somebody who always seeks reassurance may go after the religious view, while a natural skeptic may seek the atheistic alternative. Both individuals may live their lives with similar levels of happiness.

I apologize for the lack of everyday bear antics and anecdotes in this blog post, however the value of life is too important to overlook.

On a lighter note, twin bear has been diligently scribbling on her leaf canvases with home-made paint (most probably berries and coloured rocks in water). Here is her most recent rendition of "L" from the popular human anime "Death Note". How she came across this dumbfounds me, but here it is nether less.

Farewell for now.

Thoughts.

2008-11-21T17:36:00.000+11:00

iuyhcdfs

Salutations, once more.
While I hastily, and by hastily I mean "Yes i 'spose im gonna like, get round to that stuffs eventually", of tales featuring that porridge thief and eating habits across our humble forest, i wish to elaborate on another feature of ourselves which i felt, was required for everyone to understand.

Its about ourselves. But most importantly, our minds.

Now im like just any other highly intellectual bear. I feast on knowledge, fruits, vegetables, and a seemingly endless supply of fresh succulent meat. I have my own personal tastes, and habits. And i must do what needs to be done. Yet there are profound implications when questioning the mystery,

why is it our brains operate the way they do? is it subject to change? how was this method chosen? is it secretly a more superior, albeit hidden motive that is forcing our brains to never yield the answers?

The only thing left to do was to investigate. My best method was to halt my consciousness, yet still trace back data. And after a few possibly fatal experiments, and a few hilarious results from some, there was a distinct scientific conclusion.

All i had to do was sleep. Perchance, to dream?

And this was no easy task. Exhilarated from trying to, crack my brain open, and thus slurp its magnificence, of course merely in a manner of speaking mind you, i felt like a freshly woken hyena, who promptly fed ridiculous quantities of mind stimulants where the poor creature would laugh for days on end.

So immediately I had embarked on a mission to exhaust myself. And I did. More on that classic outing once we delve into who had stolen my porridge.

But my mind, whatever it was, was a mysterious place. And to answer that hidden motive question, a high amount of experience i found within my dream, was swiftly deleted from my memory. But a slight fragment remains. Before that thread of my true self disappeared, I quickly painted that one image i had, when i was within the corners of my own being.

It was done fairly quickly. But a simple, simple land, lost of color, and filled with only basic shapes.

Why, is this truly the place that runs the highly complex bear I know as myself?

Or is my brain deceiving me again...

I bid you good day, humble readers. May we someday attain hold of what we truly are..

Teeth.

2008-11-20T20:43:00.000+11:00

iuyhcdfs

In amidst of my flourishing levels of curiosity, I took it upon myself to consume a wide variety of foods. My attempts were only hindered by competition from other animals.

Yet, why does this occur. My vast curiosity multiplied rapidly.

But enough of that, the most pressing issue that concerns me at the moment is a slight predicament I so happen to have stumbled upon. Upon trialing the flavor of a rather stubborn tree, all my teeth seem to have become, impotent of the most meager of tasks.

Without the ability to chew, I was forced to undertake the study of culinary arts in order to provide myself with sustainable nutrients, yet in an easy to consume form.

And with careful deliberation and incredible patience, I found my solution until my teeth return to their full, lethal glory.

I would drink my food.

While usually you'd require some brand of food processing method or unit, i took it upon myself to find a more natural substance which i could eat easily. And in another stroke of divine genius, another solution was apparent.

I would eat porridge.

Simple and easy to slurp, yet full of exquisite flavors. I would then dice and add some of the most succulent meats to increase its potential. And it was delicious.

But one day, while waiting for my porridge to cool, I went out on a brief, relaxing stroll.

And upon returning, horrors awaited me as the bowl of porridge was empty.

I don't know what to say. But the perpetrator will not go without a highly, highly, satisfying punishment.

Farewell

Sharing

2008-11-20T20:33:00.000+11:00

wolfninjakpjoker

Welcome once again

Forest life has surely changed since i started writing this blog.With the introduction of cousin bear, my stay in the forest has been rather exemplary, and the fact that i am no longer a sole intellectual acts as a catalyst in my social development. The benefits of having company are quite clear in that every day my smile broadens and i regain a small portion of my bear entity.

However, there is a downside to living with cousins (that's right, i pluralized that noun because i recently ran into my long lost twin bear), that being sharing. Although i am an intellectual bear, this concept of "sharing" is quite new to me. As i am tough and gargantuan, i never had the need to share, i would simply maul anything that fell in my way. Now, living with two bears i love very much, i must learn and grasp this new concept of "sharing" with determination and perseverance.

Despite the sharing dilemma i am facing, i have come across another observation. It is normal in a Bear's nature to laze around and rest, especially in hibernation. This however limits the Bear's output and thus hinders any personal improvements, be it technical, intellectual or lifestyle. This occurrence is much like the human idealist's Newtons second law - inertia. A bear will continue to laze around until it is provoked or inspired by an external force. For example, a bear that does nothing all day will definitely not improve it's hunting efficiency. However, if it see's that a rival bear is extremely efficient at hunting fish or catching wildlife, jealousy and the need for competition will kick in.

Competition is in us all. It inspires us to excel in what we do as well as gives us meaning in life. However, there are limits to everything. However, with too much competition, obliviousness may kick in and one may become ignorant to their surroundings and intolerable to any positive criticism.

Excuse my rather long rant, however, i felt the need to say it.

Goodbye yet again and look forward to experiencing my twin's unparalleled artistic talent. I guess creativity runs in the family. Here is a sample of it:

Joy, and boredom.

2008-11-19T20:48:00.000+11:00

iuyhcdfs

Hello everybody.

Bears, just like any other creature, are exposed to a variety of phenomenon. We must consume, drink, sleep. We groom ourselves, clipping our nails or trimming our vast quantities of hair. We compete with those unlike us, for conflict arises from misunderstanding.

Of course, afterward, a distinct marathon of disinterest and fatigue. It dawns on us upon that moment of uncertainty.

We become bored.

That fight cousin had with one of the lions from their pack. Yes he mauled him brilliantly, and still with utmost kindness chose to return what remained to his family.

Oh indeed, then we've plucked only the freshest of berries. Ripe, and complete perfection in taste and texture.

We feast upon a bee's nest. Without any bees tending to it, leaving the undefended honey free to congregate upon our tongues.

However, while all of life's pleasures can begin, they can all conclude.

It is the fact that boredom becomes from the degradation of joy. Had we not become so happy, we would have not become so happy. I think such a thing goes without saying.

But once those joys are done, as they come and go, you miss them. Perhaps, you need them.

And in your dread, another unsettling feeling.

But when will that feeling... for nothing, disappear? This so called boredom.

Why, this is a troubling conundrum. But all it requires to solve, is anything.

And in the consequence of other, perhaps irregular news. I guess I must fill in some of the missing points about me and my cousin.

We were once separated as cubs. I was captured by these mysterious bipedal creatures. They were highly unintelligent and wished for me to perform tricks to perhaps alleviate the stark boredom pre-inflicted upon themselves.

Of course, i was not pleased. In fact, I took quite well against them. My level of despise was greater of your more familiar mammal within this blog towards the infamous forest lion. And so, I devised a plan.

But it was quite simple. I was to escape. When thinking more logically, it became apparent, that such creatures that unintelligent, would suffer more alive then deceased.

And then after traveling like a normal bear, I wound up with a bear we all know too well.

This laptop holds so many mysteries. One contraption which carries away my boredom upon this liquid crystal display is a hilarious device cousin calls "Photoshop". Why, I have made so many entertaining edits of previously existing images.

Take for example, an image of the despicable lion. Putrid, foul breath can be attained by looking at his ridiculously opened jaw.

I have rendered this picture in a way that our fellow forest companions, perhaps those not as intelligent, may comprehend. I have posted this on many places. Forums, image boards, spreading the good word. And it has become well received.

Yes. Behold. And we have achieved unprecedented success in relaying our message.

The lion is a homosexual. Please take that into account when in his vicinity. Thank you.

Goodbye, dear friends.

Cousin Bear

2008-11-19T20:22:00.000+11:00

wolfninjakpjoker

Hello

As you are all most probably unaware of my recent encounters and clashes with forest logic and other intellectual beings, i will fill you in.

The reason i did not update my blog yesterday was because i was scouting the forest in order to encounter my long lost traveling cousin who i dearly missed. This obviously took up most of my day, and when i finally (literally) ran into cousin bear, a rush of Ecstasy rushed through my body. When i finally stepped back into reality i analyzed the situation. The mix of happiness from my cured nostalgia as well as the possible concussion from the collision must have brought upon the sudden ecstatic experience.

However, the reality was that Cousin bear was here. Through a seemingly short nine hour discussion, i learned that cousin bear was Indeed very intelligent. He could read, write, draw and most importantly he had an idea of what was going on in foreign lands - not only the forest.

As his beady bear eyes raced towards my computer, an aura of exuberance seemed to shine over him like a chainsaw cutting through the entirety of a tree trunk. Despite the irony of the previous simile, we came to the conclusion that "storiestoldbybears" would be a familial blog.

So as we all welcome cousin bear to the blogging world, i will now share with you some of the original sketches cousin bear drew:

Obviously cousin bear has an idea of what the human mind percieves, and has an extremely mature outlook on the human concept of "imagination".

Farewell for now.

The Lion

2008-11-17T18:14:00.000+11:00

wolfninjakpjoker

Greetings once again

Today i have come to the sudden realization that life in the forest isn't so fair after all. One would think that animals do not have the intellectual capacity to discriminate, but that one person would be more wrong than a grown man collapsing the sinuses of an infant with his fist.

As everyone know, the lion is the king of the forest. Now i do not know how a mammal whose natural habitat is not a forest came to live in one, but one thing i do know for sure is his obvious assertive omnipotence over the other animals. I have personally asked all the deer and foxes residing in my forest, and they do not really believe the lion got permission to be "in charge".

However, i refuse to subscribe to the fascism Lion is pushing upon all of us. The following changes were issued by The Lion:

No Bathing in the Creek
No Hunting
No Private Ownership of Organizations
NO BLOGGING

Now, i don't know if it's just me, but these unreasonable erratic most definitely signify the lion's inferiority complex. Obviously, he was mistreated as a cub and grew up as an attention seeking, masochistic impression of bad parenting.

Worst of all is that none of the forest animals have any way of standing up against him, because after all, being a lion, he will eat them. However, i have something over the other animals. I have the power of speech and blogging.

Now that i am writing this blog i will show you a picture i sketched (that's right, being a bear i also have great artistic skills).

Goodbye readers. And just remember - lions are horrible, dreadful (notice the tautology) animals and do not deserve to live.

Is It Fair?

2008-11-16T11:49:00.001+11:00

wolfninjakpjoker

Lately i've come to notice that i am unlike other bears.

I can speak, I can write and I have the dexterity to play stringed instruments. But is all this a good thing?

Despite having all these great qualities and the ability to love, is it a curse thrust upon me that i am not a regular bear. Will i never know the joy of mauling a deer after chasing it and stealing it's visa?

As i dwell upon these thoughts sending myself into a twirling vortex of uncertainty, i wonder what the other bears are doing.

Once again i will not be able to forage for food, my thought are in the way. Self reflection is something a normal grizzly should not have to worry about.

Maybe i should relinquish my desire for knowledge and simply become a normal bear...but that would only increase the gap in my heart.

Speaking of which i have now become aware of the popular human joke "why did the chicken cross the road". Taking the liberty to include bears in the joke it now goes something like this:

Q. Why did the Bear cross the road
A. To reach the forest on the other side. This of course is to eventually make use of the plentiful supply of berries and the vast variety of wildlife residing there.

I have now stumbled upon the humble conclusion, that i, (being a literate bear) may seem like a fictional character to you readers. I am real, but i cannot escape the inevitability that you will think of me as simply a fictional character. This is why anything i say will be considered a story - Made up.

Farewell to all of you, and may you all prosper from your various growing crops and homebound water supplies.

Welcome

2008-11-15T21:05:00.000+11:00

wolfninjakpjoker

Well you may all be wondering
"why is this blog entitled stories told by a bear?".
This question however brings upon many other questions which philosophers have been pondering over for centuries on end.

Instead of focusing all your frail human concentration powers on the fact that mainstream media is overproduced and lacking in the most simple creative processes, or on why this blog is entitled as it is, you could be enjoying the day or laughing innocently like a porcupine on helium.

So i will leave you with this thought:

"If i am a literate bear writing up an intellectual blog, then when will i find the time to hunt for food and gather supplies for winter."

Find out the answer to this question in the next blog.

Goodbye for now, my thought summary is expressed through this picture: